UK Monster Owners Club Forum .: General :. Humour/Jokes etc... » Getting old

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 21-09-2021, 07:57 PM   #1
350TSS
Too much time on my hands member
 
350TSS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Shipbourne
Bike: M900
Posts: 1,257
Getting old

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's licence and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
350TSS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-09-2021, 09:20 AM   #2
Chriswilly
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: gloucester
Bike: M900ie
Posts: 128
I can agree with everything you have said and have the marks to prove it - but we won't go there.

Went out on a 'group' run the other week without my 'specs' and didn't realise it until I got home and 'there they were'!

Good luck ! - sounds as if we may need it.
Chriswilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-09-2021, 06:20 PM   #3
Blah blah
Upsetting normal people..
 
Blah blah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Portreath
Bike: S2r
Posts: 815
I had a similar text discussion with an old friend recently, we don't talk anymore though which is a bit sad (his hearing aids don't get on with his phone)

I may have lost my mind but at least I've still got my looks (although some old bloke keeps looking at me in the mirror)
__________________
Power is nothing without control... I have neither !
Blah blah is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:59 AM.

vBulletin Skins by vBmode.com. Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.