UK Monster Owners Club Forum .: General :. Humour/Jokes etc... » Trainee pirate

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Old 14-03-2021, 04:16 PM   #1
Too much time on my hands member
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Shipbourne
Bike: M900
Posts: 1,179
Trainee pirate

Fred decides to quit his job and run away to join a pirate crew.
After spending a few hours at the dock, he sees a man with a peg leg, a hook hand and an eye patch. The man is obviously a pirate captain.
Fred promptly joins the crew and they sail to sea that day.
When they are out in open water Fred walks up to the captain and asks "How did you get your peg leg?"
The captain replies "Arr, twas me first day at sea as a young lad. A great big swell came up and knocked me overboard. Before the crew could drag me onboard a giant one-eyed fish swam up and bit off me leg"
Fred says " That's terrible! What happened to your hand?"
The captain reclining wistfully in his chair responds "Arr, twas my second day at sea and a freak wave came and knocked me overboard. Before me crew could pull me up, the giant one-eyed fish came and bit me hand off."
Fred says that it sounds like the fish has it in for him, and, after a brief pause, asks what happened to his eye?
The captain says "Arr, twas me third day at sea, I was looking up at the sky when a seagull shat in his eye"
Fred asked "... and that is how you lost your eye?
The Captain responds "No, but twas the first day with my hook"
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