UK Monster Owners Club Forum .: General :. Humour/Jokes etc... » Lexophilia

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Old 20-04-2021, 09:52 AM   #1
350TSS
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Lexophilia

Lexophilia is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

.. The batteries were given out free of charge.

.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

.. A will is a dead giveaway.

.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

.. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

.. Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tyred.

.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

.. The chap who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

.. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
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Old 20-04-2021, 10:36 AM   #2
Chriswilly
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Excellent - loved it!

Did you know that women who fly upside down have crack up.
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