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Definitions
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners.
1. Cashtration: the act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
2. Ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an asshole
3. Intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly
5. Bozone: the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future
6. Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting sex
7. Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it
9. Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late
10. Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease
11. Karmageddon: tt's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafhalon: the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
13. Glibido: all talk and no action
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The colour you turn when you discover half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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